That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
