I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
