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• (561): View more from Florida

  My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"

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• (619): View more from California

  I'm passing your future prison.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking

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