dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
