Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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