so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I could fuck to npr.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize