4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
