Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
