Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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