i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
