There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
