went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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