You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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