you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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