I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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