Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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