Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
