The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
we should paint friendship bongs
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
