Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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