Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
