I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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