Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
