I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
