Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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