I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
