All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
