His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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