Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
should my penis look like a turkey
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
