so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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