im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Floor bacon is actually really good
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
