so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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