Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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