I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
