So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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