my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
This house was built for laser tag.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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