ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize