I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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