You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
