i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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