i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
