You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
