We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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