he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
