Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My ass is underappreciated
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
