my sisters under your porch take her home
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
