no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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