life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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