hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
