pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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