Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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