i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize