she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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