I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
