your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
