No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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