I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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