I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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