I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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