He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
